20 – August 3, 2015

AH! My amazing family!!!! Seriously, y'all are awesome! All of your
emails and birthday wishes made my week and birthday! I'm sending a
video of me opening some of the box. Didn't get the whole footage, but
OH MY GOODNESS YOU SENT ME A PIE! A full on pie!

I have been sharing with Sister Griffiths and I don't think she
initially understood the whole magnitude of how great your pie is when
I told her about it, because as soon as she took a bite she said,
"Oh....oh! This is a pie! This is the best pie I've every had. It's
doughy yet flaky. Oh my gosh!" The only reason she's sharing with me
and not eating ten whole thing is because she has to, haha!

More than anything I loved the card and the emails. I miss y'all so
stinking much!

I'm glad you had fun at the family reunion! I'm so happy I get to make
it next year. Woah, that's a weird thought.

Thanks for the pictures and such! I love your chair mom!

There was a scorpion in the house? Yum.

Wait a minute...I'm twenty years old! Woohooo! I made it!

Anyway, onto this week. This is going to be a jumbled mess because I
can't remember anything chronologically anymore so here goes.

I discovered a new word. Engender. I thought it was the most hilarious
thing ever. Engender of the Planet of the Apes. Engender and shine
forth. I am taking it out of how its supposed to be used, but it was
funny at the time.

There is this time called 'the black hole'. Most other people call it
3:00. Seriously, this is where time just stops working. What time is
it? 3:15. Ten minutes later. What time is it? 3:17.

We had Zone conference this week. It was pretty awesome. The trainings
were really good. President hopes to double our baptisms which is
possible if we're doing what we should be.

Our service hours have increased tremendously since C has been
moving. It has been a nightmare because she is 56 and has only one
other person to help her, Sh, who is also just as old. It has
taken her three weeks and she's still not out. We help her as best as
we can, but there's only so much we can do before we need to go
proselyting. It has actually been a really great experience because it
has definitely softened Sh's heart to the church. We was very
stand-offish to us when we first met, but now she gives us the best
hugs ever. Both Sister Griffiths and I have definitely felt that both
of them will eventually be baptized after this move is over. We talked
to the sisters that we'll be handing Cindy to and it really feels sad
to let her go, but that's where God wants her and that's good enough
for me.

So, we were calling one of the recent converts and it went to
voicemail and I wasn't paying attention until there was a beep telling
me to start talking. And in my panic I accidental screamed and then
couldn't stop laughing. Needless to say Sister Griffiths finished off
the recording.

Hills. So going up hills you get this tunnel vision where you notice
nothing but what's in front of you. Going down the hill is another
story. OH MY GOODNESS THIS WORLD IS SO BEAUTIFUL LOOK AT THE TREES AND
THE SKY AND THE CLOUDS THIS IS AMAZING! WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY
LIFE?!

Communication is everything. We thought we were going to have to drop
one of our investigators, Joe, because he wouldn't pray. But we
decided to figure out why he wouldn't pray and really focus on asking
him heaven sent, inspired questions. And by golly gee whiz it worked
out beautifully. He's willing to pray now! Yeah!

My birthday was yesterday! It was awesome! Thank you so much for the
gifts! Thank you for the Prince of Egypt Soundtrack! I love it so
much!! My roommates aren't too fond of it (except for Sister
Griffiths) but I don't care. I adore it to pieces.

We went to Brother and Sister Wh's house for dinner and they made
barbecue ribs, grilled veggies, and corn on the cob. It was the best
birthday dinner ever. :) They even let me blow out a candle on my
cupcake.

It was a great birthday. God even blessed me with no one who wanted to
yell at us! Everyone was super nice!

We had to call the Relief Society to repentance yesterday. Not
something we really wanted to do, but it had to be done. Basically we
do this missionary moment every Sunday and someone will share their
missionary experience for the week and someone else will volunteer to
give away one of our Books of Mormon.

This week was one of the Sisters turn to share their experience of
handing their out. Turns out she did t give it to him because he has
going into rehab (isn't that the best time to give him one though?)
but she did bear a really good testimony about the Book of Mormon and
how it changes people's lives.

"Thank you. Did anybody else have a missionary experience this week?"
Silence. Again. This is the fourth Sunday in a row.

"Okay, is there anyone that would like to hand out a Book of Mormon
this week? Silence...for a good two minutes.

Then, Sister Griffiths said, "No one? Okay, I have a scripture to
share with you....O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name
of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the
souls of all those who partake of it; that they may eat in remembrance
of the body of thy Son, and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal
Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son,
and always remember him, and keep his commandments which he hath given
them, that they may always have his Spirit to be with them. Amen."

Not all of us carry the name of Jesus Christ on little black tags, but
all of us have promised to take on the name of Jesus Christ. Every
Sunday we promise to remember Him.

Eventually someone did raise their hand to give one away.

I hate that we have to do that. Absolutely hate it. Why can't you just
raise your hand immediately? Blaaaah.

How can we expect to be disciples of Christ if we don't open our
mouths? I don't care if your colleague/friend/family member has
another religion, I don't care if they think they're happy, I don't
care if they're atheist, I don't care if it's hard! I know how hard it
is. Everyone needs this gospels and everyone needs to hear it.
Salvation was never easy. It was never easy for the Savior so why
should it be easy for us?

The gospel train is speeding up and the luxury of getting on and off
the train is NO LONGER AN OPTION. WE ARE AT WAR!

We cannot do this without the members. We can't. The key to hastening
the work of salvation is regular members. Every member a missionary.

Okay, tangent time is over. That felt good.

Sister Griffiths says these profound things out of nowhere sometimes
and I think they're pretty great.

"The thing about hills is that you keep pedaling until your at the top
or over the top."

"Once you realize who you're accountable to, everything becomes
easier." That one has hit me so hard. It has changed my perspective
for the rest of my mission. And she is absolutely right. Everything
becomes easier. Life is still hard, but the actual work itself becomes
more joyful. I have noticed since praying for charity that I am not
angry at people anymore.

When I first started praying for charity I also remember that it is a
commandment to forgive our enemies as well. That was the hardest
prayer I have ever given. I said, "Heavenly Father...I know that I
need to forgive all these people who have said and done mean things to
me, but is really hard and I don't feel like I should. But, please
forgive them anyway, because that is what you want me to do."

Man, can burdens be lifted or what? It's amazing how freeing it is to
not worry about those people anymore and the things they said and did.

I can count the amount of months I have left on two hands and that is
terrifying. I'm glad I still have more time to work on things and be
better. I read your emails about how great of a missionary y'all say I
am. If you only knew how imperfect I am, haha.

Anyway, I digress. Y'all are amazing and I love you so much! I will
see if I have time to respond to everyone's emails they sent me.

I miss your guts!! Seriously, I want to hug you all until you turn
purple, or green, or orange. Whatever suits your fancy.

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

Stay classy and sassy.

All my love in the whole world,

Raye!!

P.S. The jar of jam broke. Not sure if anyone could read the giant
word FRAGILE on every side of the box. Oh, well, haha!

The Loneliest Walk of Our Lives – July 27, 2015

Good noon my family!!

And HELLO MY EXTENDED FAMILY!!!

I love you! 

This week was a jumbled thing so I have no idea where to start. 

Ah! Melanie sent me some candy for my birthday. 'Twas good. Probably wasn't supposed to open it yet....oh well. 

I'm turning 20 this week! 20! That is old! Mom! I survived teen pregnancy! Hahaha! Anyway, but seriously, two whole decades I've been alive. So weird! 

We had dinner with the Br children and Sister G. Yeah, the woman I used to live with in my first area! Her nieces and nephew are the Br children and she was babysitting them. It was so great to see her and catch up. Probably the most fun dinner appointment I've ever been to. She filled me in on the sisters that are living with her now. All I can say is that I hope to not be companions with a few of them, because I will break them. Two of the trio are very disobedient. If I had them as companions...oh man, they would get their butts worked off. Seriously, stop it or go home. But, anyway, it was so awesome to see Sister G again. 

We met this guy on the street and talked to him for a while about the gospel. He wasn't interested in meeting with us again, but expressed that we were the only 'preachers' he had ever met/ talked to that didn't talk down to him and he didn't feel bigotry around us. That's because we actually care about you, man. 

Oh....Wednesday. So, I'm pretty sure my Wednesday's have been cursed. Last week was the hives and this week was my bike. 

So, my back tire accidentally slipped into a broken part of the street and they tire popped. My tires are balding super bad so I figured it would happen eventually. So, it wouldn't have been such a big deal if we weren't at the halfway point of our area and our phone died at the same time. 'Twas a joy. Especially when this truck of creepy guys started watching us try to get the tire off the bike. Don't worry, they left. Long story short, we eventually got a ride to a bike shop, I paid for a new tube and tire, and we reattached the wheel and our bikes weren't stolen in the meantime. Fun times. 

Man, this week went by really fast...what else can I talk about....

Hm, nothing is coming to mind, but I will share this amazing song with y'all. 

It's called 'The Loneliest Walk of Our Lives' and I don't know who it's by, but it's quickly turned into one of my favorite songs. 

She pushes 'L' on that old elevator door

Her heart is broken, arms are bare

The door is closing and she's staring at the floor.

There's still a piece of her up there.

It's seems like yesterday she saw him on a screen, painted a room and picked out names.

But now she has to leave him under big machines to keep alive his tiny frame.

She's on the way the way to her car. 

But it's never felt this far. 

With each step she takes there's another to follow

And one more ache, one more tear to swallow 

She's gotta keep moving, forget about the bruising inside,

Through the loneliest walk of her life.

He pushes up his glasses, staring at her name

One last time before he leaves

He saw this coming, but to see it now engraved is still so hard to believe.

It seems like yesterday they kissed and made their vows

Her favorite flowers in her hair. 

He's staying later than they normally allow, clutching those flowers in his hands

On the way to their front door

No hand to hold there anymore. 

With each step he takes there's another to follow

And one more ache, one more tear to swallow

He's gotta keep moving, forget about bruising inside

Through the loneliest walk of his life

He pushes up the board they've tied onto his shoulders.

Bears with dignity disgrace. 

He hears the jeering and the wind is getting colder

Tasting the blood upon His face.

His body bashed and bruised, still open from the scourges;

The consequence of wicked men.

He knows no man on earth has ever deserved this,

But still he bears it all for them.

And He keeps moving up the hill to do His Father's will.

With each step He takes there's another to follow

And one more ache, one more tear to swallow

We all stand by him and watch as the price is paid

Through the loneliest walk of His life,

So we don't feel alone in the night

We can have His hand hold in the light

Through the loneliest walks of our lives. 

Keep pushing through this lonely walk your going through, 'cuz someone has walked this way before.  

So, this week I have been studying trials a lot. As you can probably tell, missionary work is the hardest thing to do. At least in this point in my life it's the hardest thing I've ever done. 

I've learned that whenever people say, "God never gives you more than you can handle" does not know what they're talking about because that's a bunch of bull. Of course God gives us more than we can handle! 

I thought about suicides. Those people who couldn't handle it. Were they just weak? God gave them as much as they could handle right? Wrong! They just don't understand grace. 

Those people that give up don't understand grace. Those that think they're just supposed to grin and bear it don't understand grace. 

Nephi said, "I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall PREPARE a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." 

So, yes, God, in His loving kindness, gives us more than we can handle. And I say 'loving kindness' because we would never be who were supposed to be without our trials. 

The thing is is that we cannot handle everything by ourselves. If we could we wouldn't need a Savior. That is how we can handle every trial we are given. God provides a way for us.

Without the Savior, without Christ, we can literally do nothing. But with Him we can accomplish everything. 

So, that is what I learned this week. Second thing!

So, when I had gotten my hives, the ward mission leader and the Elders came to the apartment to give me a blessing. I thought it was going to be a quick blessing, but as soon as Brother Nickell finished blessing me with health and healing it turned into a blessing of counsel. A long blessing of counsel. Most of what I remember was that I would find the reason why this was happening to me. But, I was given instruction to love the people I serve. 

These few weeks have been hard, slow, and it felt sometimes like we were hitting a brick wall over and over again. We've been working on hope and talking with everyone we see. Most of them were quite painfully rude. 

Last night Sister Griffiths had me read D&C 31 while I was recording in my journal. After I finished reading she asked me, "Are we living in a way that we are worthy of these blessings?" 

Of course, we could always do better...but it really bugged me. Are we? We are trying to be exactly obedient, but nothing is happening. 

Most of my study this morning was dedicated to a talk titled 'The Fourth Missionary'. If you haven't read it I strongly invite you to do so. But, as I studied I realized I am the third missionary, because I lack love. I am not loving these people. It is so freaking hard and not loving them makes the work more difficult. 

So, I'll be praying for charity this week and possibly for the rest of my mission. Reason for the leprosy? So, I could be given counsel to be better. 

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. (1Corinthians 13)

Anyway, I love you all! Can't wait to hear from ya tomorrow!

Brainy Bookiacs: My favorite book this year is the Book of Mormon. :)

The church is still true! 

I LOVE YOU!

Raye

Freaking miracle story!

So, Sister Griffiths for some reason really wanted to print off some
pictures. So, we went to the Walmart photo kiosk. As she was adjusting
one of the pictures a man came up from behind us and asked about it.
The picture just so happened to be part of a scripture from the Book
of Mormon. Alma 42:15. So we happily told him where it came from and
read him the whole verse. He asked us why we need to earn our way into
heaven and we explained our whole view of grace and he really liked
that. Basically, all of the questions he asked were ones we have
gotten before, but he actually liked all of our answers. We talked to
him for a while about prophets and how we have the authority from God
to act in His name. The man, Jerry, said that he had seen many
'prophets' on TV and they all turned out bad. We told him that it is
by fruits that you will know them and told him the Book of Mormon was
our evidence.

"Where can I get that book?" He asks. I hand him the copy I have in my
hand and he asks how much it is. Free. He takes it and a card and
promises to contact missionaries.

"What a coincidence," says Jerry.
"I don't believe in coincidences," I reply back. He nods his head and
walks off. He then comes back and says, "Coincidences are when God
wants to remain anonymous."

Raye

1- 2The bike incident and sister Griffiths in her natural habitat.

3-4 me and my amazing companion 

Leprosy – July 20, 2015

My family!! Hello!

Fire and brimstone is nothing short of at least once a week being told to go to hell and it is actually becoming very funny. Maybe it's the fact that I was on drugs all week (explanation to come), but I actually start laughing after each time. I guess I just needed to vent last week, but it felt good to share my testimony. I'm glad you all enjoyed it. :)

I finally got the Gathering Post for January-June! Apparently it was sent to my first area and made it through the grapevine to Elder Moyer a month later. I loved it! Marissa went to prom with Jens?! And she got honors for perfect grades too. Proud of that girl! She's a babe. I'm related to her. 

I'll be missing France vacation.  But that's okay! Give everyone my love and big hugs for me! Also, the mailbox gets very empty sometimes. I would enjoy a few letters from my cousins. 

Okay, now onto this week. You probably want to know about the hives. It's actually a really funny story and I think it is appropriate to start this story off with a picture of this guy...

  

Yeah, that's basically how it felt. 

TUESDAY: So, the weather has become increasingly more hot and humid. If you want to know exactly what it feels like here I will explain. Imagine being dunked three times in the ocean, dropped in the Sierra desert, rolled in the sand for a bit, and then blowed on with a large hairdryer all day long. And you're on a bike. 

Anyway, so our schedule ended up being super wonky. We started off our day biking down to the farthest part of our area which is a 45 minute bike ride in the sun. We had started off slow so we biked harder than we probably should have to make our appointment...who ended up not being there anyway. Due to poor planning on our part our next appointment was in the early afternoon at the top of our area. That we didn't have to bike so hard to get to, but it was still hot and we were sweating buckets. We ate lunch at the apartment and Sister Griffiths was smart enough to change out of her sweat drenched clothes and take a quick cold rinse-off shower. If I had known what was going to happen to me later, I probably would have done the same. The appointment at the top ended up not being there either (flippin flip flip!) so, we biked back down to the bottom of our area in the blazing sun because we had plans. No rest for the weary. 

It ended up really great! We were able to teach a lesson to a nice old lady as she was taking a break from yard work. She then accepted a Book of Mormon. As the day went on I started feeling a little itchier than normal, but I figured it was just the sweat and I brushed it off. We met this guy named Joe who is now a new investigator of ours. He is very logical which kind of sucks, but he is a great learner. I'm excited to keep teaching him. 

Anyway, we went to the Grillett family's home for dinner and as we were eating I had an itch underneath my arms and as I touch it I felt the hives. They were underneath both my arms and as I started looking farther they were also on my shoulders. Sister Grillett started freaking out because she thought she had cooked something I was allergic to. Anymoo, so I excused my self to the bathroom and ended up stripping all of my clothes. The hives had become so massive that they had taken over my whole back, shoulders, and down my legs. It was quite disgusting if I do say so myself. It was swollen and itchy and blegh! 

That was what the underside of my arm ended up looking like when we got back. Sister Grilllett and Sister Griffiths refused to let me bike back home so she drove us. Called Dr. Alguire, the mission doctor, and he got me a prescription for 20mg of prednisone (steroids!). Took a freakishly cold shower, took my drugs (three that night), went to bed. 

WEDNESDAY: Woke up feeling great! Took only one pill like I was told. The hives were gone, everything was good, it was going to be a great and productive day! WRONG! So wrong! 

We got a ride from the Hermanas to take us to the Ronald McDonald House for our service time and there was a little hive spot on my forearm, but I figured it would go away because we weren't doing any strenuous effort and we were inside. Basically, all we did was clean and sweep. Then, I started to feel it. They started growing on the upper part of my thigh so I took a pen and drew around it to see how fast it was growing. Rapidly. Very rapidly. 

Sister Grillett picked us up after our day of service so we could grab our bikes. As we started walking (Sister Griffiths wouldn't let me bike, plus it hurt to sit anyway) they started spreading faster and they itched so bad it hurt. I have never felt that kind of pain on my skin before. There came a point where I didn't want to walk in the sun anymore. So we hid in a gas station while we called the doctor. As we were talking the hives had spread up to my face which as not the most comfortable feeling in the world. In fact it took all my willpower not to touch any part of my flesh. 

We were then told to go to urgent care. Woo hoo! Once gain we were in Sister Grillett's car and her children took possession of our bikes. When we got to urgent care I had to fill out a crap ton of paperwork whilst slowly dying. Everything's fine! Mom, you remember this part! Yes, I should really memorize my social security number. It was great to hear your voice by the way! 

Anyway, finally got in. The doctor looked at me once and said I was having an allergic reaction. Really? I didn't notice. So, she put me on 40mg of prednisone and a 24 hour allergy medication which I have been on all week. I talked to Brother Nimtz, who is a plastic surgeon, and told me I was suffering from prickly heat. Basically, I am allergic to high high and extreme exertion when they are combined. 

I will be sending pictures of just how bad it was that day. 

I have not had to worry too much about it since I've been on steroids every day. Hopefully, they won't return or I'll have to go back to the doctor again. Yesterday was my last day on steroids so we'll see how everything goes. Should be great and I'll take better care of myself this time. Promise. :) 

Sunday was the best day ever! So we went to the bottom of our area again because we have two referrals that we have been trying to see all week and I really felt we should go there. By the time we were about to head back so we could be picked up for our dinner appointment I saw this family walking inside their home from their car. We biked on over and introduced ourselves. The mom asked us a few questions, looked at the card we gave her, looked back at us and said that her girls really needed to talk to us. She invited us right in and we sat down with the family. Most of the girls were foster. There was N, S, M, and J. They were all very intrigued as we started to talk about the gospel. They were all really smart and loved the answers we had to their questions. They were even excited to have us come back! And they are all teenagers! 

As we were leaving, the mom (who had been in the kitchen during the discussion) came to us and started to get emotional. She said that normally she would never let us in her home, but as we talked to her she had felt this overwhelming peace come over her and she knew that we need to come inside. As she spoke she began to tear up and gave us a tremendous hug. We told her that it was most definitely the Spirit of God and she agreed whole heartedly. I am so freaking excited to come back! 

I am so thankful for the Holy Ghost. What a powerful influence it has! I don't think I really understood just how powerful it was until that moment. It made me super grateful to be worthy of it's presence so that it could touch the hearts of those around us. What great blessing! 

You know what else is a blessing? My legs look fantastic! I have a testimony of biking. Missionary work looks great on me, haha! 

The days are just flying by so fast! My birthday is in two weeks! Woooo! 

But seriously, I had no idea time could go this fast. July is almost over! What happened?! 

Sister Griffiths and I are extremely grateful that we only have to serve one summer in Kentucky. It is brutal. We're avoiding grass like the plague and it had kept the chiggers at bay. Not one bite this week! Yeah! 

I love you all so much and miss your guts!!! Have fun at family reunion! Get better! Get sleep!

I LOVE Y'ALL!! 

LOVE,

Raye

1-3 At urgent care
4-5 Two hours later. Those rags were in the freezer and pretty much
melted instantaneously on my boiling skin. Yay.

6-8 Biking in the Heat

9- My hive face. :) the picture doesn't do it justice. 

10- What my leg looked like on Friday. 

11- Drew this a couple weeks ago. Thought it was pretty darn funny. :)